The Duncans Go To England

Day 1 – Orlando, London Gatwick, Guildford, London In which Bryan and Cathy venture outside the country for the first time and meet up with their daughter Emma for an epic English adventure. Flight from Orlando Not many people on the flight so we could spread out but a couple of young children behind us cried and whined the entire time.  Even worse, the father insisted on talking to them throughout the night at full volume.  I’d finally nod off and the next thing you know he’d be bellowing British nonsense to his child.  At one point a child elsewhere on the plane shouted out “Oy!” several times in a row.  He was stared into submission buy a different Brit, thankfully.  Happy to finally land!  Unfortunately, this was just the first of several encounters with Englanders who defied the stereotypes of excessive politeness. We landed in pitch dark, rain, and cold.  Everything that London is famous for!  We sorted out the train situation fairly qu...

Day 2 – London Calling (by bus) Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey The hotel provided a full English breakfast buffet (eggs, ham, fried potatoes, grilled tomato, and baked beans).  I’ve never thought to ask why baked beans are a breakfast food, nor did I try them.  Unlike Bill’s there were no egg eyeballs and the food was just OK.  I tried a blood sausage, which is made from lard, oatmeal, onions, and blood.  Not gross in taste but not worth trying a second time.  This was where we made our discovery that English kids, at least the ones on a London holiday, are brats.  There’s no meanness to them but they don’t respect queues or seem to be deferential to adults.  The adults were either doting or complained about their brats without taking action.  Nothing is universal but this was common throughout the trip. Adults reflexively say “Sorry” for any offense but kids seem not to notice or care if they've wronged you.  Perhaps they learn manners...

Day 3 – The Tower of London and Posh Places Tower of London Another glorious cold, rainy, day but this time with some impressive wind gusts.  We started with a guided tour of the Tower of London.  The guides are Yeoman Warders, aka Beefeaters.  They are not in the military but form a real ceremonial guard and one must have 20 years or more military experience to join them.  Our guide had a great sense of humor and he kept us entertained and educated.  The rain, cold, and wind got to be too much so we skipped some of the sites at the Tower.  Admission is a bit pricey but worth it. Not the stiffs at Buckingham Palace.  These guys were clowning around a bit. A dragon made from spare parts in the armory.  Watch out, it's The Burninator! Marker at the spot where public executions took place for Tower prisoners.  These people were famous in their day.  Now they are just dead. Paul’s Sandwich Shop A sudden downpour drove us t...

Day 4 – Day at the Museum We were thinking of taking a day trip out of London but overslept after our exhausting Ripper tour.  Instead, we made Thursday our Museum Day. British Museum This museum boasts a huge collection of ancient and priceless artifacts.  It's amazing to view antiquities from all over the world.  Giant Abyssinian walls?  Check.  Original Rosetta Stone?  Check.  Egyptian sarcophagi? Check.  One could say that the British have stolen the world's history and made it their own.  But if one thinks more on the subject it become apparent that if the British hadn't preserved these treasures they'd likely be lost forever.  That said, after 2 hours of viewing artifact after artifact it becomes just rooms of old stuff and is it lunch time yet? Which pub should I go to next? Take it back!  You are not Mom's favorite! This toothpick is almost 7' tall.  The Mayor of London went into hysterics when he saw it...

Day 5 – Day Excursion by Bus I resisted the idea of a bus tour simply because it seemed so touristy and we are badass explorers.  However, price, convenience, and tired feet won the battle and we signed up for a day trip.  Good thing we did because it turned out to be the highlight of our visit. Leeds Castle This picturesque castle is maintained by an endowment from its previous owner.  She completely restored it during her lifetime and she left behind a fantastic legacy.  The tour guide was great and the tour itself was fun and informative.  What really got our attention is the degree to which the castle presents itself for the community. There are many activities for kids, rooms can be rented, wedding hosted, etc.  With barely 15 minutes left before our bus left, we decided it would be fun to enter a hedge maze.  Within 5 minutes we were lost.  As the clock ticked quickly towards walking back to London, my wife implored a child who had ...